Three days ago, I and my ex separated after on relationship for almost 4 years. Even though, mostly our relationship we go through long distance from Indonesia and Turkey. But it's still hard for me to forget all of the things that had been done together. She is a good girl. She helps me a lot. She takes care of me more than other people did. I realized that she was always there for me. Our relationship finished because she asks me to propose to her as soon as possible this year. I told her that I'm not ready yet. I still need to save money, find a job, and I'm still studying in college. I thought that she had been triggered by her friends who were already married at a young age.
I love her. But love isn't enough. If love can pay for everything then no one in the world gets divorced because of economic problems. No children are born but do not get a proper education. I told my mom that my mom also asked for advice from my dad. They said so too. I asked a lot of my friends and they thought so too. I don't say that all of my decision is 100% true. I told to her. I give options to her to keep waiting no longer. We'll be together and I don't have any desire to find other girls. But she was already disappointed. She never believes me again even I told her many many times.
24 years of me. I'm suffering to lost her. Now I don't know what to do. Can I go without her during this Ramadan? We never talked to each other again even we can't say sorry when Ied Fitr comes. Then, after finishing my study and I back to Jakarta maybe I can't even see her again? Can I go through all of these circumstances? Who will take care of me? Who will listen to my jokes and said that I'm just a freaky man? Who will give me advice to not do this or do this? Who? - I know maybe this is just like trash.
I know that maybe I'm just a stupid boy that had loved a girl.
I know that maybe I should try to learn to let go of something that's gone.
00.25 AM, TRT.
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